Life is full of comings and goings. Fernando and I met when we were interns in Bonn. Both from Latin America. He, a Costa Rican who just arrived in Germany. Me, a Brazilian looking to start over after having left Sao Paulo.

We never gave up our dreams. He completed an MBA at MIT and soon after that he started a consulting job at McKinsey & Co. In the meantime, I lived in different continents, changed jobs, cities and traveled through South America.

At one of these crossroads we met again in Berlin. A few months later he moved to my hometown, Sao Paulo, and told me about a “Women in Digital” Award from McKinsey & Co. By that time, I had already been involved in initiatives for women empowerment.

I won the Women in Digital award few months later. Let me tell you my journey.

I try to avoid discussions about why, in 2018, we still need to talk about women’s position in the workplace. Today I am bringing this topic to the table. It is time to talk about why an award for women in a predominantly male sector makes sense.

My mom was a hardworking person. A sales manager with 20 direct reports and 700 indirect reports. 99% of them were women. I remember her tirelessly helping these women to discover their self-confidence. To make sure they had enough income to lead a self-determined life. I remember both my dad and my grandpa working double shifts to help my mom empower other women.

These are the role models I grew up with. And then I came to Germany. Strong women with strong opinions. I felt I belong here. I thought here all men would be able to recognize how valuable these women are. I was only partially right.

In this article I present two types of behavior based on my own experience and on narratives of other women I met over the past ten years in my career. For the sake of simplicity, let’s consider the gray person and the blue person. Certainly there are many shades between gray and blue, rainbows. I believe that the majority of the people out there are rainbows.

Gray people respect and promote strong women. As long as these women behave like men. Gray people respect women under the condition they work full time. Gray people respect women until the point they go against men’s arguments. Gray people respect women until getting drunk and inviting them to their hotel room. Gray people defend their right to have higher salary than female peers.

Blue people respect and promote women due to their intellectual and social capabilities. Blue people offer to stay home to take care of the children to let their wives work full time. Blue people have no issues earning less than their significant other. Blue people don’t interrupt women during a heated debate.

I’m fortunate enough to have many blue people in my personal circle. A circle of friends who grew up with a strong sense for equality.

When I faced gray people it was hard to hide my feminist side. I got involved in different women initiatives. The gray people got loud. They started to complain about women quotas in executive rounds. The gray people got annoyed that they were not invited to women-only circles. They felt excluded.

I asked myself how many exclusive clubs they and their previous generations had been part of. Fraternities. Board rooms filled predominantly with male members. Professional networks.

After considering that, I felt no longer guilty towards these gray folks. I decided to position myself for the blue people and for all types of women. Together we can go further.

I decided to apply for the Women in Digital Award from McKinsey & Co. At first I was not sure whether I had what it takes to win such an award. Alina, a good friend of mine, reminded me that even when gray people are not capable, they apply for all sorts of prizes. They go for it.

She reminded me of how capable I am. What I have been through. I felt encouraged, and applied for the award.

I recorded a video describing my biggest challenge as a woman in digital. After my application passed the first round, I was invited to take part of interviews and a case study presentation with experienced McKinsey senior consultants.

A week later the phone rang. The display showed the Brazilian country code. I thought it was someone from my family. I answered. A consultant from McKinsey was on the other side. She told me I won the award along with three other women worldwide.

I could not believe it. Years after my mom retired from her job. Years after I started my first job. Years after having to deal with gray people who did not trust my potential. Years after I learned that not only the ones who scream the loudest get heard. I felt recognized and respected by other women. And by the blue people.

This prize gave me the possibility to go to Silicon Valley to continue my journey. To learn more, to invest in my career. To expand my network. To be as confident as I can be. Because in this journey I want to keep being a strong woman. And be part of all the strong women who are able to face the gray people.

If you don’t yet feel you’re a strong woman, or don’t have a blue person by your side, that’s not a problem. We are in this together for a positive change. Until the last woman gets a real voice. Until all women in this world get heard and respected.

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About the Women in Digital Award from McKinsey & Company

In 2017 McKinsey Digital Practice and McKinsey Women Initiative invited female professionals passionate about digital business strategy and digital transformations & innovation topics – like Design thinking, Agile methodology, Digital marketing, Data Architecture, Analytics, Machine learning and data mining techniques, Big Data, programming languages (Python, R, C++)  – to apply to the Women in Digital Award.

In 2018, four women worldwide got awarded each with 2,000 dollars to be invested in personal projects, individual mentorship from McKinsey consultants and guaranteed invite to selected McKinsey events.

*Thanks to Felicitas Schweiker and Serge Gebhardt for reviewing this article and giving me great feedback!