2014, World Cup, a Brazilian woman working at a traditional German company. Germany scored phenomenally seven goals against Brazil.

That was enough to elicit a number of different reactions from my German and international colleagues. I was hugged by one in the morning, who wasn’t even that close to me. From my desk I could see the freshly printed newspaper headlines hanging on the whiteboard.

I was, for the first time at that company, an object of curiosity. Actually I never felt completely unnoticed in a team in which I was the only foreigner. People were nice, nevertheless from time to time I was reminded of my lack of cultural references, either in a good or in a not so amusing way.

That was me being “they”, the “others”.

Going back in time I remember my jobs at Brazilian companies. Those years remind me of eagerly following discussions happening around me which were not in Portuguese. It gave me a feeling of “Wow, what are they doing here? What is so good about this place that they left their country to spend time here?”.

I remember doing my best to communicate with foreigners. But I also have to recognize that many of them had difficulties when we went to after work drinks. We Brazilians love to joke and when we do it, we speak very quickly. We also use our own cultural references without realising how hard it is for foreign colleagues to partake in such moments.

That was me being “us”, the “locals”.

These lines are not about “us versus them”. It is about recognizing the challenges and happiness in being the outsider at the office.

During my past eight years abroad I have heard bad stories about discrimination towards foreigners in the professional world. For instance during an expats dinner a lady reported that someone questioned her language skills and “why did the company pay her that expensive language course?” in front of the whole team because she mispronounced one word.

I also got to know of engaging stories on how multicultural teams had made the best of their diversity during and after work hours. International dinners with each country being represented. People dedicating their time to teach more about local business etiquette. Truly helpful colleagues who would walk the extra mile to make outsiders feel comfortable.

There are multiple facets to it: organisational culture, moral education and, I would argue, also values and ethics.

The latter one, ethics, is the one which interests me most. I learned in a TED talk that ethical behaviour is not necessarily treating others as we would like to be treated. It is actually a matter of asking them how they would prefer to be handled and act accordingly.

By acting ethically the magic of integration happens. An effort going both ways: by locals and by foreigners.

From a foreigner’s perspective, we have in our hands an amazing chance to learn more about the way locals work, a new set of values, a different code of conduct and the language spoken in that place.

From a local’s perspective, once we share our experiences, explore different practices, learn from a new context without having to live in another place, and allow this foreign potential to grow our home countries. Only then will we be able to fully flourish.

My mentor would joke about her expat experience in Spain. Instead of sharing how hard it is to move to another country, she used to tell this anecdote: “Today I met Cisar, my Spanish teacher. In the first class I told him ‘good morning Cisar!’. He took a deep breath and knew that it wouldn’t be easy. He then replied briefly but amicably ‘my name is César’ with the tongue between his teeth”. She laughed hard, they had a good time.

That is “we”, meeting together in the middle.

Chances are that, by being tolerant – even though we might not understand immediately what the other party meant – we will be rewarded with a smile.

This also reflects the principle of believing that others, regardless of origin, want the best for us unless the contrary intention appears.

After all, “we are all foreigners somewhere”. We long for a welcoming spot where we can settle down and give back the best to those who make us feel at home.